South African Journey

The Foundation

I'd like to share with you a bit of my experience during my first weekend here in Alexandra. I arrived here in Alex on a Monday night not knowing what would take place in the coming days. As the week went on I was invited to different places around town and met many people. During this time I was told of a funeral that would be taking place over the weekend. A member of the local church had lost two family member's in the span of a week. Both funeral's were to be held Saturday morning in a little town about four hours away.

I was hesitant to agree to go with the group from the church because I had no connection to the family and was new to this area. After being assured that it would not be a problem for me to go I agreed to go along. Little did I know what was in store for this trip.

We were to leave Alexandra around 9pm Friday night and drive through the night, sleep once we arrived and the funeral would start early Saturday morning. We pulled into the church parking lot a few minutes before 9pm and waited to meet up with the rest of the members going along. I kept checking my watch to see the time passing by and we were still at the church. There was no hurry to get on the road (they all knew we had plenty of time). Being from the States we like to have things run certain ways. If someone says the bus is pulling out at 9pm then it's leaving very close to that time, so you best be early!

There was no hurry in the parking lot that night as we chatted and loaded up the bus and eventually got on the road around 10:30pm. Ah, finally on the move, I was told we would arrive around 3am or so. Enough time for a short nap on the way there, right? Not quite. We were about 15 minutes down the highway when we hit really heavy traffic. Thirty minutes later we realized that it was a license check and all but one lane had been closed down. Anyways, we were moving again!

I'll start by saying I got about 7 and 2/3 minutes of sleep during the drive. My idea of driving at night is different than that of the folks I was traveling with. I'm used to sleeping during road trips. Everyone is 'allowed' to sleep, except the driver and person in the front passenger seat though, cause it's their job to keep the driver awake! Well, not in this bus. We had some great conversations during the drive. We talked about everything from the 11 national languages here in South Africa to how cold it was at my University. I was taught greetings in different languages, sadly I can't spell them?

For those reading this in the States?Have you ever spent 2 hours singing none stop in the car? Perhaps you have. But try singing without the radio, cd or iPod playing along. 2 hours of singing songs that I didn?t know, until I recognized a familiar tune:  "Halleluiah, we sing your praises, all our hearts are filled with gladness". It was a fun and fast rest of the ride to our final destination.

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A South African funeral and the typical funerals that I have been to in the States have many similarities to them, but there are things that made this funeral quite unique for me. We started at the home of the family and walked behind the caskets to the church while a brass band played and people sang and danced. Once inside the church there were prayers, singing, bible verses were read, tears were shed, and laughs were had from the stories shared about the lives of those were honoring.

The church seats about 275 people and there was close to 350+ inside the sanctuary; while another 150 weren't able to make it inside for the service. When we exited the church and started the move down to the graveside, I noticed that just about all those that weren't able to make it inside were still outside waiting. Everyone had the opportunity to say a prayer and toss dirt into the grave. It was a community of family, friend and strangers coming together to honor their mutual friends. After the graveside ceremony there was a meal held at the home of the family for which everyone was invited.

I was amazed at how much people make honoring and remembering those that have passed a top priority here in South Africa. If you are scheduled to work, you find a way to get to the funeral and make up the time missed from work another day. The service wasn?t meant to be a sad somber ceremony, yet a way to share stories about their lives and how they touched other people's lives. I'm not trying to say it was all fun, it's a funeral, they are sad. But I learned that the best way to remember someone is to first understand that they have moved on to a better place. And also to keep them alive here on earth by doing what a few people did during that ceremony. Let them live on through stories, songs, laughs and yes, tears as well.

Before we left the home from the meal we stepped inside to say one last good-bye to the family member from Alexandra. I wasn't sure how she would respond to me. She graciously thanked me for being there and I was asked to share a word of prayer for those in the room before leaving. It didn't matter who I was or where I came from. It only mattered that we were gathered in that lower room remembering those family members and the promise that God made to us.

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Back to Alexandra we headed with more songs and laughter being The Foundation for new friendships.