South African Journey

The warnings started back in April along the banks of Williams Bay, Wisconsin. It was then, at the YAGM interview weekend, that I first was warned, or made aware, of the stages you go through when away from home for extended periods of time. During the build up to my departure for South Africa I was asked numerous times how I could leave home for a whole year. My response was, “It’s just for one year, it’ll go by fast.” As I said my good-byes in August and arrived in Chicago I was once again reminded of the phases of being away from home. I have found that most of these phases are true for me. Yet, I still haven’t found one of them. The following are these 3 phases, followed by my experiences.

Stage 1:  The Honeymoon

During this stage everything is exciting. You’re in a new place, always meeting new people, who are excited to meet you and show you around. During this phase there’s not much thought of missing home cause everything is just AWESOME ‘here’. I was told this stage can last about one month.

Stage 2:  Reality

As the honeymoon stage starts to wear off reality sets in. As things begin to become more normal and routines begin to get set it becomes more ‘real’. Not to say that it’s not real during Stage 1, but it starts to sink in that ‘Yes, I am here’ and this is my life for the next year. During this stage relationships begin to get deeper as there becomes a steady group of people you see on a regular basis. This stage also is said to last around one month.

Stage 3:  Homesick/UFE

During this stage you might need a few Kleenex’s. Reality really sets in and even though you may be fully enjoying every aspect of your volunteer work and life, you start to think about home. During the YAGM year this stage happens to fall at the start of the Holiday season, thus making one more homesick.  UFE’s are also said to fall into this stage. We were first informed as to what UFE’s are while in Chicago for orientation. UFE à  Unexplainable Fits of Emotion. This stage lasts for about a month and a half, with UFE’s jumping in at unexpected times for the duration of the year.

My View’s after 5 Months away from Home

I think the honeymoon stage lasted much longer than the 1 month average. As I had the opportunity to visit numerous places in the greater Jozi (cool street name for Johannesburg) area. Having many people that want to show me their home, their church, their family makes things go by fast, as I didn’t have time to really stop and think about what was going on. I am glad to have been moving around a good bit my first few months here to help me get acquainted to the life and culture of South Africa quickly. I think this also helped to blur the gap between Stages 1 and 2. Though I am glad to have settled into one home now. I would guess sometime in the middle of November I began to realize that this is REALLY what my life will entail for the remaining 8 months, and that I’ll never be 100% certain of anything. I enjoy surprises, which is a good thing because they are a plenty; nothing like sheep head (scop) for breakfast!

I have been asked many times, “Elliott, don’t you miss that side?.” I’m not sure what to say cause I do miss ‘that side’ (the US) but not much. I explain myself by saying that I miss parts or things from that side; people, events, sports, birthdays. I also make a point to point out that I’ve made peace with the fact that I’ll miss things on that side that I would love to be a part of and I’m okay with it. But there are so many things that I keep experiencing that keep me on my toes and keep me excited to know what will happen next. With all that said, yes I miss aspects of home, but not enough to want to go back, at least not just yet. There’s still more that I haven’t experienced and Christ is revealing things as he best see’s fit.

Why do I not feel homesick? I have the strong believe that it has everything to do with the people God has surrounded me with here in South Africa. Everyone from those here in Alexandra, my two coordinators, my fellow South Africa (YAGM) Muddlings, and prayers and support from folks back home. As nice as it is to receive mail from family and friends in the States I don’t know how far it would go to helping me through this year if there wasn’t an amazing group surrounding me here in South Africa. I grew up living in and hearing about and what Southern Hospitality is in the states, well I think true Southern Hospitality is here in South Africa. The folks here make it a point to welcome you and make sure you feel at home, not because it’s polite, but you can really sense how sincere they are. It is these reasons that I can’t say I have truly experienced Stage 3. I did have a little UFE on Christmas Eve when, for the first time in 22 years, I didn’t make it to a Christmas Eve service. But the time I shared with a local family is a memory I won’t soon forget.

Christ has his own way of working things out. Maybe his plan is to bring the emotions on very slowly this year for me. I’m not sure, but I do know that if and when they do come He has already placed people around me that will help me through that time.